“Oh blood and tears, how can it be, there’s a God who weeps, there’s a God who bleeds.
Oh praise the One, who would weep for me.
Hallelujah to the Son of suffering.”
How can it be …
That I would feel more familiar with guilt and shame than with the grace of that One who wept and bled for me.
Is this real?
Today. I travail, sitting with Him, mithering over my failings, fetid pride and coldness.
Yet, the song that sings to the surface of my soul is not of condemnation but reminds that He has paid it all.
My. Sins. Are. Covered.
Period
My heart … is a child … at this.
A wondering, wiping tears and snot away child, gazing up at this beloved Father inviting me into the embrace of this grace, the cancelling of blame and reminder that Jesus has covered all that.
Why then do I struggle to stay here, in this grace.
Why do I return to the pit of shame and try to SAVE MY-SELF and even have the foolish imaginings that I can save another.
Hubris and Shame.
Partnering together,
as Psychiatrist Curt Thompson would say, in The Soul of Shame.
https://curtthompsonmd.com/books/ (scroll down to this book on his site and you’ll find a free chapter).
The human condition leaves us, at our worst, in an exhausting cycle of try, fail, shame, try again, strive and fall in the pit again. Sounds pretty depressing and surely in the midst of that are successes and joys or we’d all be dead from lack of hope.
Is there hope though? A reason to lift our heads, a place of refuge?
I believe so.
There is a One, a Someone who carries both justice and mercy so tenderly and righteously in His hands, at the same time. And we’re told that He leans heavily on the mercy side. It’s His plan and will and purpose to save us. He wants to. He’s a good Father.
Do we grow tired of hearing it. Do our hearts grow brittle?
Yes, mine has at times.
Will we just pause for a moment and let this quiet grace waft through our souls. Can we let His reminder steady us?
“This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” (1 John 1:5-10 NASB)
What happens when you read these words? Are you consumed with the idea that there’s no hope? ‘I can never attain to this and am only going to be judged.’
I used to read this like that.
Shame. Guilt.
However, the narrative I understand now is about a God, a holy God who is so good and pure that darkness can’t be found in Him. Only Light, good and of the purest essence. Don’t we love goodness. Isn’t it what makes us feel safe and happy. Things of goodness and pure beauty; stars, peonies, lambs, babies; make our hearts sing, awaken an innocence within us that gets lost in the harshness of life in the world.
Conversely darkness is associated with fear, evil, uncertainty, until a candle is lit, the moon lifts onto the black night and stars sprinkle their shimmery light across the vault. We leave night lights on in bathrooms and our children’s bedrooms.
Light is good. It’s associated with safety. Why then, do we understand the goodness of God, that He is Light, to be distant and unloving?
Truth be known, He went to great lengths to make Himself approachable. Read Leviticus if you can bear it. ALL the setting of the stage, the temple and Holy of Holies was God making a way for us to come near Him.
And then there was Jesus.
Yes, Jesus. The lamb slain for us.
Perhaps pause here and ponder how far God went to make Himself accessible to us …
~
Now read on and there’s the part about sin. ‘If we say we don’t have it we’re liars.’
God knows. We’re bloody liars. He knows!
But what’s next…?
Confession. If we will confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, some versions say ‘just’, to forgive us our sins and cleanse us.
‘Confess’ according to Strong’s concordance (https://biblehub.com/greek/3670.htm) is to agree, to concede, to admit and be of the same mind.
Can we agree with the Father when we err, that we are sin-ful, in need of what He offers, knowing that He holds out grace to us.
Jesus has paid the price.
God wants to forgive us.
So what happens to shame then? The taunting whisper of “you can’t go back, you’ve gone too far, there is no forgiveness for you.
How does that weigh in the scale opposite confession and forgiveness?
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23 NASB)
I’d say there is a weight of glory in the forgiveness of our Father that flips the lies of shame right off the scale. They feel heavy as they coil around our hearts, but lies are so often an illusion and disintegrate in the Light.
The lyrics quoted at the beginning of this post are from the oh so beautiful song by Matt Redman, Son of Suffering.
I want to be careful as I write this that I don’t minimize the holiness of God. The word does say that He lives in unapproachable light. He takes our disobedience seriously. He gave Jesus to us. We’d best not take that lightly. However, today I’m focussing on being ‘shame-less’ and living into the deep grace that He offers.
perspective 