Sabbath, My Love

Oh misunderstood day of rules and no play

You decree me into still.

Your will an arch imposed over my enjoyment,

Intended to stifle

I flail in defiance your managing way.

Stark, I perceive your hindering

Of my joyful run.

I glance sideways beyond my lashes to your disapproval,

Fearing the rope you try and constrain me with.

You, corralling the freedom I cherish

I’ve run the desert, free of your restraints

Wind lashing my hair as I toss this proud head

Scarring knees on ridges I stumble upon

Life has torn my body, infection flaming me

but I have no need of your restrictions.

Your attempts to keep me are in vain.

You stand, a wall around me, binding my efforts to escape

I resent your power. You fence me in and I’m confined.

Hands hung you move in my direction,

I flee but you are there hedging me in

Behind and before

I can’t escape you.

I want to make you leave me but you reach out and

I’m confused because you smell like safety and I’m aching.

You’re with me and just stand there

I’m distressed, eyes dilating

I need you, I fear you, I hate too the connection you rope me into,

I’m captivated by your slow and steady hand upon my face

I lower my proud head to your caress.

Your scent is alien, Your touch frightening,

I’m a spring ready to uncoil if you violate this trust I hesitate into.

You reach along the length of me, fingers tracing lacerations.

A vessel of warmth dribbles a cleansing flow through this pain,

I stay.

Your hands trace the long, strong legs of me,

feeling around and down to where I stomp the earth,

I’m hesitant still at you fingering scar tissue lacing a story across my skin, 

I wince at some still raw place you touch.

Soft cloth, soft water, pungent in it’s antiseptic cleanse you sop across my wounds.

I yield into this relief.

How long have I run away from your tending.

You lead me to quiet waters where I plunge blistered lips in and drench my throat,

Cold river flowing down my neck,

You, who have hedged me in.

Tend me and fill, speak into my ears of your possession of me.

Why did I ever run from you?

Your barriers are an opening

A place defining refreshing

A location for infilling.

My definition of freedom, free of restriction, liberated me from your kindness, trapped me in infection, kept me always running

But now I need no harness

For I know your love is purest,

Your invitation to engagement is emancipation unknown in all my resistance.

I am yours, unfettered, free of obligation I come to you

For you are a safe place of lie me down,

vulnerable, open wide, replenishing rest.